


ineffable

by astinaea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Light Angst, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 12:44:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10991190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astinaea/pseuds/astinaea
Summary: in which a boy and a girl both loved each other, but also both believed their love wasn't possible





	ineffable

**Author's Note:**

> so heres the thing i promised...  
> Its funny (to me) cause exactly one year ago (may 24th) i wrote it? and back then i wrote non-fandom stuff on wattpad and started it out there but never got around to finish it, but then i realised i could also just use it as michidai thing so yay  
> aaaalllso tHE NORMAL IS YUI AND THE ITALIC IS DAICHI

The sun was shining. The sky was blue. The grass and flowers had grown beautifully in the warm sunlight. You'd almost look around to check when those Teletubbies would show up. Was that a childish thing to think? She didn't really care, because they didn't, wouldn't come anyway. Just like her heart. Well, theoretically speaking, she still had it since she was alive, but- she couldn't get it back. She knew, she knew so well it was wrong, she couldn't- but she did. She just couldn't resist him, and so he kept her heart without even knowing.

 

_He shot up, waking from his dream. It had been about her, of course. When was it not, really. It was pathetic. The teacher had called for him multiple times, but he had been too far off, dreaming, constantly dreaming. About all things that couldn't be. About her. He hadn't done it on purpose, really. She'd been his best friend since they were still in diapers, they were like siblings. Maybe even closer. Like siblings that didn't fight. And, apparently, could have these feelings about the other. He shouldn't think about her that way. He couldn't._

 

He'd been her best friend for as long as she could remember, had always been at her side, never apart. She hadn't meant to, hadn't even wanted to fall for him as hard as she, obviously, had. She was still falling. Harder and harder, deeper and deeper every day. And there was no possibility, not even a probability, for her to ever get back up again.

 

_She had the most beautiful, common eyes he'd ever seen. With common, he meant the color; brown. Just like the majority of the world population. Common. But still so, so beautiful. Hers were different. And of course, he was probably at least a bit biased, but they were so, so deep, and full of life and love for everyone around her, and pure honesty and excitement when she succeeded at something, and- If he looked in them too long, he could seriously get lost in them. He sighed and sat up straight. He was hopeless._

 

Until tenth grade, she'd never cared for his looks, never even really looked at them, never paid attention. One and a half year ago, she had, and immediately fallen deeper than she, at that point, had gone already. He was, objectively speaking, pretty normal, a boy-next-door appearance. But then a cute, handsome version of that. If she looked past his sturdy-but-awkward exterior, she saw not just a boy, but a young man, broad-chested (and with killer thighs) and with a strong jawline. His eyes screamed 'trustworthy' at everyone around him. No one who had ever spoken with him could deny that the low, friendly rumble of his voice sounded at least a little attractive. 

She sighed and sat up straighter, while her heart kept betraying her, kept falling and falling and falling, deep into the bottomless pit called Love.

 

_Her hair had always been a bit of a sensitive topic to her, annoyingly pretty and extremely long but because of that very hard to take care of. One comment on her hair, and you had her on her feet, mad. He thrived off that reaction from her, which is why he teased her a lot about it when they were younger. About three years ago, she'd shrugged off all comments of people that she shouldn't do it, and cut her extremely long hair, until it fell a little under her ears, beautifully framing her face. She looked even more ethereal with her short hair._

 

She hated, but at the same time loved having to drive him around. Especially after he'd just finished exercising, since the gym was all the way on the other side of town. He'd been saving up money to buy one particular bike he'd been going after for years, while she'd bought a simple scooter once she was allowed to drive it. She now had to bring him everywhere, since mister was 'saving money' so he couldn't take the bus, like every other person, and every time she complained, but secretly she didn't mind at all.

At least then he sat close to her, with his arms around her waist, head on her shoulder.

 

_He'd almost saved up enough money for his dream bike, one he'd been saving for for years, but deep down he didn't like that he then wouldn't have a reason to ride with her anymore. He'd already got his license, so he'd be perfectly able to drive himself around town, but then he'd probably never sit on the back of her rickety scooter again, his face pressed in her hair, his arms around her._

 

"I almost have enough money now!" he'd said triumphantly. "I told you I could do it." 

She'd always told him he wouldn't be able to make it, not to discourage him, but to warn him for the chance of him really not making it. It was a lot of money, and he also had other expenses to pay for now that they were in university. She had wanted to save him from the disappointment if he really wouldn't be able to keep enough money for it. Now she just felt guilty. He'd made it. He was almost there. Why couldn't she just be happy for him?

 

_He had, deep down, hoped she would say something like "oh, great, but I could still sometimes drive you," or maybe even "Ha it's your turn to drive me around now," but she only smiled. He didn't understand his feelings anymore. Was he happy with his success, with his money or not? What he did know, was that it was, even though she didn't say it, most definitely his turn now to play her chauffeur._

 

Nearly two months later, he'd finally officially made it. Her best friend, or better said, crush, or even better (worse) said person she was In Love with, had bought the bike of his dreams. The one thing he'd always wanted. She secretly thought it was a shame he now wouldn't need to ride with her anymore. It was definite now; that time was over. But, he looked so happy- she couldn't help but instantly feel happy too. For him.

She wanted to do something, anything, something like maybe giving him a kiss on the cheek, or anywhere else really, but didn't have the courage to. Instead, she drawed him close and hugged him tightly. 

 

_He felt her wrap her arms around his neck, even though she was a lot shorter than him and felt her body press against his. He was really a lot taller, and she let her forehead rest against his chest. Subconsciously, he let out a deep sigh, desperately hoping and praying his heart wasn't beating all too fast. He then wrapped his arms around her waist and let his chin rest on her hair. It felt good._

 

She could only concentrate on his arms around her waist, his body against hers, rock hard and muscular, strong and dependable, the rhythmical pounding of his heart, assuring, lightly against her forehead, And on how fast, crazily fast her own heart was beating. Of course. The way they fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle, made her heart spin. It felt almost like they were made for each other.

What a ridiculous thought.

 

_He loved her. He was sure of it now. He felt the strong urge to tell her, right here, right now. Wanted to just blurt it out, make his feelings clear to her so there would be no misunderstandings of the intent behind his actions. He had never been good at keeping secrets, anyway. He didn't have the courage to tell her. He was afraid, afraid she didn't, wouldn't love him back, afraid she'd think of their friendship as ruined, afraid she'd walk away, never come back (even though he knew she'd always come back). The thought alone of her, rejecting him, hurt._

_No, he decided. I can't tell her. Not yet._

 

She wanted to tell him about her feelings for him so bad, but she couldn't. What if he didn't like her back, then their friendship would be completely ruined. It would forever be awkward, and that was the absolute last thing she wanted. If she couldn't have his love, then she wanted to be selfish and at least take his friendship. No, she thought. I can't tell him. Not yet. Not if I don't want to lose him.

 

_"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" the crowd was chanting at the party. She looked so uncomfortable it shattered his heart at the sight. With a familiar ache in his heart, he said "No, guys. Think about it... That's so- weird. It'd be like kissing my own sister."_ _Her relieved face and wild nodding didn't really make the situation any better, only made his heart hurt even more. She had a weird glint in her eyes, and it made him want to say 'fuck it' and just grab her face and kiss her, but he couldn't. It sucked pretty bad to have the girl you loved panicking at the idea of having to kiss you._

 

They had been playing Spin the Bottle when it happened. He spun, and the bottle landed on her. She immediately panicked. She couldn't kiss him, she'd instantly give herself away, no doubts. It really wasn't possible. What he then said, relieved her, but even more, it broke her heart. "It'd be like kissing my own sister". Oh, how bad she wanted things to be different...

 

_That glint in her eyes- what was it? What did it mean? He was pretty sure she was hiding it, trying her hardest to not let everyone show. But he had known her for so long, he could read her like an open book. He could see through the layers, could easily spot the pain hidden deep inside her eyes. Sadness. He could recognize those emotions anywhere. It was the first thing he saw in the morning, after all, after waking up from oh so beautiful, but impossible dreams. Saw it in his eyes when he thought of how he could never confess to her without ruining their friendship._

_Then he made a crazy, impulsive decision. "Fuck it," he said, and kissed her._

 

She wasn't sure what to think. All she knew at that moment was that she loved him and that he was now kissing her. And that she'd probably never get the chance to again, so she kissed back.

 

_She was kissing him back. The cogs in his head were spinning like mad. What did this mean to her? What did she feel about him? Would this change their friendship? Whistling and surprised yells woke him out of his trance and they quickly parted. There was no way he could deny missing her warmth when she pulled back._

 

"I- um... I need to pee," she immediately said, hiding her crimson red face begine her short hair. Hint: her hair didn't do anything useful. What had she done? What was going to happen now? What did he think of it, of her, now? Then she noticed he'd followed her to the bathrooms. He grabbed her wrist, halted her and in the process forced her to turn around. "What did it mean to you?" he asked, straight to the point, while looking deeply into her eyes, obviously searching for lies there. Then she made a decision.

 

_"I love you"._

_His heart did a somersault. A very big one. Had he heard that right? "What?" he asked, just to be sure of where she stood. "I love you," she repeated, her voice shaking, eyes growing wet. No, no no- For a few seconds, he wasn't really sure what to say. Or do. Or anything, for that matter. Then a huge grin almost split his face in two._

_"Finally," he said. "I love you too. A whole big lot."_

He never again let go.

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if it was confusing, i hope you liked it, if you did feel free to leave a comment/ kudos or come yell at me @ astinaea on either tumblr or instagram (not my personal, more of an art dump)


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